Waking From a NIghtmare : Google Interprets My Dream

My heart was pounding; I could feel the blood pulsing in my ears as I lay there in the dark trying to will my panic to subside. Deep breaths. There will be no counting sheep after this one. Even if I could go back to sleep I wouldn’t want to. I was puzzled. I am an adult, why on Earth am I having a nightmare? I thought I was too old for scary dreams. Was it the blue corn chips and peach mango salsa I had before bed? I knew it had a negative impact on my diet. Perhaps it had a negative psychological impact on me as well!
Dreams usually fade and drift away like breaths on a cold winter day soon after waking up but not this time. This dream was so intense and vivid I decided to do some Googling. Let me start off by saying I do not usually buy into hocus pocus, new agey stuff like dream interpretation. That aside, my curiosity was mounting and I was wide awake anyway so I might as well see what my sleeping self was trying to tell me (if anything).
First I suppose I should at least attempt to describe the dream to you although doing so is like trying to describe how being in another country feels and smells different to someone who has never traveled.
It is evening and I am not at home but outside of a restaurant or store. I am standing in the parking lot and realize I am Renee Zellweger. I am still dreaming but I am simultaneously trying to figure out why I am Renee Zellwegger. I don’t even like her that much and we most certainly are of no physical resemblance. A team of very large dark brown horses go by pulling a red and white wagon that is a cross between a box car and the circus wagon on the front of a box of animal crackers. I am taken by the fact that these horses are unusually large. Unnaturally large and the people driving the team of horses are not people but just very people-like. It hits me that they are from another world.
Aliens!
Then the horses breathe fire. They do not set anything on fire. This seems to be more of a show of strength and power than anything else since the fire was not aimed at anyone or anything.
I begin to run in the opposite direction towards home. I am feeling glad I can run and not the Scooby Doo cartoonish running in place that I have dreamed of before. I run over a small hill and come to where I live in the dream, a trailer park near a lake. All of my neighbors are outside and look up when I start to yell and tell them we are being invaded by aliens. None of them believe me.
Is it because I am Renee Zelwegger? I am feeling very frightened. I start to protest when a train begins to descend the hill although there are no tracks. The train goes into the lake and can be sensed tunneling under the trailer park towards town. My neighbors are befuddled that I was right about the aliens but are not scared because there seemed to be no aggression on the part of the aliens.
Exhausted I go home and lock the doors. I fall asleep spent and scared but awake in the morning cold, shivering, realizing all of the doors are open. I go to open the door and my Dad comes to the door (it must be Renee’s dad because mine passed away ten years ago and looked nothing like this guy) I tell him we must leave. He says he won’t. I told him I am leaving then because I know it is not safe. He holds up an unfamiliar key and says “You aren’t going anywhere. They’ve changed all the locks.’’
That is when I woke up. Surely it is not as frightening when you are wide awake at your computer in the safe surrounds of your own home and you are most likely not Renee Zellweger but at the time I was spooked. Google never fails me and it had a lot to say about interpreting the symbols in my dream:

Parking lot signifies a hectic daily life, lack of time or the need to find a niche
Actor/Actress means I yearn to be recognized and my work acknowledged.
Horses mean power, mystery and the unknown.
Fires mean a lot of things such as anger, transformation, energy, drive, enlightenment
Aliens mean escaping reality and feeling invaded or disrespected
Running means I am not facing my fears
Trains can signify conformity, what you are burdened with, need for power or lost track of goals
Lake means restricted emotions; a disturbed lake signifies emotional turmoil
Locked doors mean opportunities denied
Father signifies the need for more self reliance

So to sum things up I am too busy but haven’t found my niche which is why I haven’t received the accolades I crave. My future is unknown but I have energy and I am transforming. Recently I have worked with people who do make me feel disrespected and my ‘’turf’’ was compromised. I have a habit of not facing my fears, I have not kept my goals in sight which has lead to emotional turmoil and denied opportunities which could have all been avoided if I would just buck up and be a little more self reliant.
Hmmmm…..now that dream is no longer scary. Still interesting and food for thought: just not mango peach salsa before bed from now on. Thanks Google for shedding some light on this.

My apologies to Renee Zellweger.

Gimme Gimme Gimme

When my kids go with me to the store they keep a keen eye out and if they spot her we immediately change course and head directly for her. The SAMPLE LADY! What is it about getting a little sample of food that thrills them? Ok, sometimes it thrills me too. My family thinks I am a crappy cook but I bet I could set up a toaster oven in aisle 12 and they would fight each other for whatever I dished into the mini disposable cup for them!

Tonight instead of writing what I was supposed to I was randomly surfing through blogs and came across a few that had free samples. I am weary of this, especially magazine subscriptions but I checked out two of them and they seem to be okey dokey.

http://instoresnow.walmart.com/In-Stores-Now-Free-Samples-And-Trials.aspx free samples mailed to you from the evil empire and also

http://www.helpgrowyoursoup.com/ this is Campbell's soup company. They will send you a packet of free tomato seeds.

Cool.

I will grow some tomatoes to cook with. I will serve the food in little disposable cups to my kids and I am sure if they think I am the Sample Lady they will say ''gimme, gimme, gimme''

PART II - FINALLY A WII FOR MII

(continued from Finally a Wii for Mii)

I was beginning to doubt this purchase but continued on and entered the training mode. This mode consists of four areas : Yoga, Strength Training, Aerobics and Balance Games. You can choose either a male or female trainer. They both have a pony tail and neither one moves their mouth while they instruct you. I selected my oddly robotic, animated , ventriloquist(?) trainer who guided me through two push ups until I quit that section due to lack of upper arm strength and audience heckling.
Onward to aerobics! The hula hoop game is fun and is a good workout. Your feet have to stay planted on the balance board and rotate your hips so I can see where this could be a strain on the knees. There is a couple of running games. One can only be played with two players so I did the single player short run. Holding the controller I ran on the carpet and not on the balance board. The controller (which had come with the Wii and not the Wii Fit) has sensors or magic fairy dust that send the information to the Wii about my pace . How did it do that? I was starting to like the Wii Fit again even if it did call me obese.
Still not moving her mouth ,my trainer then guided me through some yoga poses. She demonstrated putting her right foot on her left thigh to begin the tree pose. She doesn’t suggest modification as my real life, mouth moving yoga instructor does. Barring a horrific car accident my right foot is not going to rest on my upper left thigh so I put it on my calf instead. Good enough. The Wii Fit then gives displays an on screen graph of how my balance was. The goal is to maintain your balance and keep your red dot on the screen within the large yellow circle. The graph showed maniacal red scribbles that looked like the work of a serial killer with a red Sharpie. The Wii Fit then tells me I need to work on my balance. At least it didn’t call me obese again!
The Wii Fit has a bank for each player (you can have up to ten players) that tracks the minutes played. These minutes can unlock other games and activities when enough points are accumulated. There are charts and graphs to track weight, BMI and minutes of use. I can see this being a very motivational tool.
Will I give up my gym membership now?
No way! I personally need feedback, especially when beginning a new activity. Performing an exercise correctly avoids injury but once a person has the correct form the Wii Fit can be a great supplement or diversion. Without earning the extra points to unlock additional games the forty activities on the Wii Fit are enjoyable and varied enough to keep me coming back for more.
What’s not to love? Well, there are a couple things that I wasn’t thrilled with such as each player you add must go through the lengthy set up and changing players is not simple or quick. Doing push ups with my hands on the balance board was uncomfortable but that might just take some getting used to. I was not surprised that the Wii Fit called me obese; it was a blow to the ego though. I admit it is motivating to see how much lower I can get my BMI. The biggest drawback to the Wii Fit is that the player must be barefoot on the balance board. For people with bad feet I can see this being a problem. I have heel fasciitis so I know I am going to have to be careful about how much time I spend barefoot on the balance board but I can easily change activities, put my shoes on and do the running or strength training so it is not a deal breaker.
Would I recommend the Wii Fit? Sure I would but right now I am in ‘’crush’’ mode. Everything is new and exciting. We will see if the Wii Fit holds my interest and goes into ‘’long term relationship’’ mode or if it gets relegated to the basement which is the dungeon for my dumped and damaged fitness equipment.
Stay tuned and toned!

Finally! A Wii for Mii!

After patiently waiting for a Wii Fit for months I finally have one. Wii Fit is a very popular game system from Nintendo that retails for approximately $95.00 or at least that is how much it cost at a nearby Game Stop store in Omaha, Nebraska. The Wii Fit is sold separately from the Wii game system. They do this because they make more money that way and because there is no shortage of consumers (like me) who snap up all the nifty plastic coated electronics that they just have to have!
I could say that I politely thanked my husband when he brought it home to me but truth be told I gleefully ripped that sucker out of his hands. I had the Wii Fit box opened in no time. I could hardly conceal my excitement as I emptied it of the batteries, balance board, game disc and two instruction manuals.
Uh oh. Two manuals? My butterflies sank in my chunky tummy. Darn it. I wanted to play it NOW.
I flipped through them. They were only a bit thick due to being printed in three different languages. Ok, it is not so bad. Easy enough instructions and within ten minutes I was ready to set up and play.
Hmmmm…. Why is my husband still sitting recliner? Oh God! He plans on watching this all unfold like some sort of cellulite beholden opera but instead of the fat lady singing she is going exercise. I will exercise in front of strangers at the gym but not my husband! This is a fate worse that public flatulence (pet peeve #2 right under exercising in front of my spouse)
He says he paid for it; he wants to see if it was worth the money. I didn’t feel like sulking or arguing with him and at this point I am still excited about having a Wii Fit so I just continue on. Create my Mii character. Short, chunky and spunky I named my Mii character Mommii. Next I clicked through a bunch of screens about how important balance and posture are. Blah, blah, blah. I want to play! Let’s get to the fun stuff.
First though it wants to do a body test. Height, age, balance. Okey dokey. Moving along now. Then it weighed me and gave my BMI. My husband hasn’t known my weight for seven years. Wisely, he sat silent. The Wii however was not silent. Did this thing just groan at me? Complete with sound effects it proclaimed me to be obese. No kidding! That is why we bought it! The Wii Fit then compiles all of the information from this set up and gives you your Wii Fit Age. I am beginning to not like this thing!

…..PART II WILL CONTINUE TOMORROW……

Downward Dog Tired

This afternoon was my third foray into the world of yoga. My mat is not nearly as noxious today as it has been airing out. My toenails are painted purple in hopes of giving me something more aesthetically pleasing to reach for whilst attempting the ‘’forward full’’ yoga stretch. I am noticing small improvements in my poses. Nothing to shout about mind you but I do have a sense of being a bit more flexible. I still can’t place both hands on the mat while standing unless you count after class when I have picked up my mat and am rolling it up.
This third session had pretty much the same cast as characters as the first session: the ultra limber instructor, stretchy double jointed participants on trendy mats, my sidekick neighbor friend and myself. I did notice a new gal who was right there with me in the chunky department. Cool, I thought as I spied her in the mirrored wall. Having someone else in class who is not a Barbie prototype was refreshing. As class began I would spot her in the mirror occasionally. She might have been new to that class but obviously was not new to yoga. This gave me a good shot in the arm of some she-can-do-it-you-can-too medicine which I needed.
We gently went through the poses that I was now at least a little familiar with such as downward dog, sunflower, chair, child, and upward dog. I was feeling the flow. I stretched, taking deep breaths, envisioning myself as a yogette or whatever yoga folks are called. I suppose it is obvious that I am not one since I don’t even know what they are called but for today I will use yogette. Then we were instructed to firmly plant one foot and flow into the tree pose. We were to stand on one foot and place the other foot against our calf (or thigh if you were really yogariffic). I planted my foot and place my other foot on my calf, looked in the mirror and lost it. Where is my meditative groove? My Zen had zoomed and I was trying to hold it together but my chunky self staring back at me in the mirror was humming ‘’I’m a lumberjack and I’m ok”. Deep breath. Tree pose. No good. I am not even a huge Monty Python fan so I don’t know where that came from but it kept popping back into my mind. I lost my balance and try as I might I couldn’t get it back to hold the tree pose for longer than five seconds. Every time I wobbled or saw my friend wobble I wanted to yell ‘’timber”! I may be new but I am observant enough to know that type of behavior would be frowned upon in yoga class. Hmmm…perhaps I didn’t air my mat out enough after all. I think I will blame it on the plastic fumes.
Yoga is hard work. I leave the classes tired but refreshed. I think I will go to class number four later this week. I will keep you posted.

The other day (last week) I bought new beverage glasses. I thought it was time the Walker family graduated to glass glasses instead of the plastic ones. Sure we have two kids and I am rather clumsy but none the less I wanted them. Generally I am an optimist and believe that the glass is half full.

It usually is!

As a mommy-optimist though I know that the half full glass is left next to the computer where there is not supposed to be any food or drink and that it isn't discovered until after the kids have already gone to bed.

That is Mommydom for you.

I can handle washing the glasses but ever since the glasses were taken out of their box it has sat there waiting to be taken out. At first I believed I was having a stand off of sorts with my teenaged son and husband but then realized a stand off is not a stand off if no one notices you are having one.

So am I to just let that box sit there on the counter? Not exactly. For now it is where I am hiding my stash of bought-too-early-eating-it-anyway Easter candy.

Mmmmmmm...mmmmm chocolate.

Not very Mommylike of me to have candy and not share, huh?

Naaah....serves them right!

YOGA Part II

I don't know how much I enjoyed my first yoga class but I did enjoy how I felt afterwards so this morning I took another class. Taught by a different instructor and surrounded by different (yet still less chunkier than I) people but that wasn't the only thing different. I came prepared! I had a crocheted headband and funky, new agey yoga mat with matching carrying case. Yeah, I'm the stuff. I am into Yoga!

Then the class started.

I proudly unfurled my new mat. Eww. It still smelled of that funky new rubber smell. I had aired it out but obviously not enough. Every stretch and pose that brought my face close to my mat had to kill brain cells. I was beginning to wonder if I was going to make it through class without a contact high.

This session was much more difficult. I was introduced to stretches that not only seemed impossible but likely to be illegal in the more Southern conservative states. The instructor did not just calmly call out poses and directions from her mat at the front of the room. She walked around and gave encouragement or correction. Some of the poses such as warrior, child and chair were included but there were other elements that I have still blocked out at this time.

Perhaps after psychotherapy I will remember what exactly I was doing to have all the muscles in my legs quaking. Seriously, my legs were shaking like cellulite driven jackhammers. After class I was completely fatigued and refreshed at the same time. Almost how you feel after a good cry. Red faced, snotty , worn out but yet relieved.

As I walked over to where I had laid my belongings I seriously considered not bending over to retrieve them but to just go to the store to buy new things when my legs were working again.

Bad Dog?

Impulsiveness has gotten me into some not so great situations but other times I benefit from it. Yesterday it actually did me a lot of good. Coming back from a three day weekend out of town my friend called and asked if I wanted to try a yoga class at 5:00 pm. It was 3:00pm and I was pretty close to home. I quickly said yes since I had eaten badly all weekend. I didn't consider that lack of sleep and being bloated from eating out for three days might just not mix with a new exercise class. I just said yes impulsively. Almost as soon as I hung up with her we ran into road construction. I didn't want to call her back and cancel after I already said yes. It took a half an hour longer to drive home than I expected. I had time to run inside change clothes and drive to the gym with less than five minutes to spare before the class started.

The first thing I noticed was that everyone else had a cute little yoga mat. Sigh. I grabbed one of the used to be squishy exercise mats that people have been sweating on for years and tried not to gag. While I wasn't exactly out of place the second thing I noticed was that there is a yoga type style of clothing that everyone wore. Not quite the same as the sweats and t shirt I threw on. I doubt anyone noticed or cared that I was wearing my favorite Incredible Hulk t shirt but it was incongruous with the meditative groove I was trying to get going on. The third thing I noticed was that I was the largest person there. It didn't make me feel self conscious but it made me wonder why there were no other chunky gals there. Then we started and I immediately realized why there were no chunky people there. Yoga is hard. The slowness and gracefulness of it hides how stinking difficult those poses are. When I say graceful I am of course referring to the other people because I felt about as graceful as a cement mixer on prom night.

I wasn't familiar with the poses such as cobra and child pose. I had to crane my neck and watch the instructor who by the way seemed to be made of different material than I. She could bend and twist easier than over cooked pasta.

Despite its difficulty the class time went by fast. When it was over I asked the instructor about a pose that I can neither spell nor pronounce and she happily showed me how to do it. After class I felt good. Relaxed. I was sweaty but not like I just took an aerobics class. This morning I swear I feel taller. The next class is Thursday and I plan on taking it. First though I will leave my Hulk shirt and home and stop by the store and get a yoga mat and some yoga type clothes. In the meantime I will practice my chair pose and downward dog.

LOOK IT UP

Some days bedtime just can't come soon enough. Being a stay at home mom and a homeschooler is a never ending list of chores assignments , standoffs and questions. I am tired and my patience tends to wear thin around 8:00 pm. My six year old daughter has developed quite the repertoire of bedtime stalling tactics. These days after the correct stuffed animal has been chosen, the right un-itchy pajamas are on and teeth are brushed we read a book or two and then lights out.

That is when the questions start. Not easy questions mind you. Hard ones. Her sweet lisping questions coming through the gap where her two front teeth used to be. ''How do babies get in the mommies tummy?" " What is the stuff octopus' squirt out'' and the like. Sigh. Why can't we tackle this subject matter in the morning? I try to encourage her to remember her questions for the morning and we can find a book on it or look it up on the internet. A few nights ago she asked me why we don't know when people are going to die. I gently explained to her that none of us know how many days we have and that only God knows the answer to that.

Her sweet little reply made me smile. ''Can't we just go to God.com and look it up?"

If only everything was that easy!

WOE IS MII

I am not your typical tech and electronics hound that must have the newest phone, Ipod, laptop or game console but I was curious about the Wii. Media coverage of this popular video game system was extensive. I read and heard about it everywhere but had resisted for months even looking at it in the stores. Christmas shopping season heralded a new wave of Wii interest and it seemed to be on many people's Christmas wish list. My desire for a Wii did not fully bloom until I heard so many people talking about it after the holiday season. Now I wanted one. Badly. So does everyone else. Often sold out and never found on sale I finally forked out the bucks for a Wii. Whee! It was fun! Easy to set up (I just asked my teenager to do it) and everyone in the family enjoys playing it too.

I am on a perpetual diet and I love the Wii so the next logical conclusion was; ''I must get a Wii Fit". Easier said than done. I visit the stores trying to time it when they say the delivery trucks come but so far no luck. Unable to ''pre-buy'' it at the store and it is sold out online.

I am having a hard time being patient. I have heard and read so many great things about the Wii Fit that I can't wait to get my pudgy little hands on one.